12.
The following exchange is offered verbatim (or as near to it as I can remember):
HER: That suit would look great on you.
ME: (Checking the price) Too bad I don’t have nine hundred dollars.
HER: Just use your credit card.
ME: I still wouldn’t have nine hundred dollars.
HER: What are you talking about?
ME: I try to pay off my balance in full when I use my credit card. That’s more than I can afford right now.
HER: (Irritated) That makes zero sense. Nobody pays for credit cards! They give them to you!
ME: Not the card; the balance. The bill.
HER: What “bill?”
ME: … The credit card bill? The one you have to pay every month?
HER: No, you don’t.
ME: Okay, well, I guess you can make minimum payments, but…
HER: (Interrupting) What are you talking about?! You are making zero sense. If you don’t like the suit, just say so!
ME: I do like the suit, I just can’t afford it. Using my credit card wouldn’t magically make it so I wouldn’t have to pay.
HER: You don’t pay for credit cards. God, what is wrong with you?
ME: Wait. Do you mean that you’ve never paid your credit card bill?
HER: There’s no such thing! Credit cards are so you don’t have to pay.
It eventually came to light that the young woman had been given her credit card by her parents, who paid the balance for her whenever they received a bill.
This revelation only occurred after I’d been accused of trying to make her feel guilty for buying sweatshop clothing, though I never did figure out where that connection occurred.
13.
My grandpa’s cleaning lady was making fun of me for believing that the ozone layer exists. She laughed out loud at me and said, ” Then how do the rockets take off from Earth without crashing into it?” And continue to laugh and make fun of me for it for a good 10 minutes straight. I was so baffled that I just let her go on.
14.
That the sun is not a star, because it is the sun.
15.
Me while watching a semi-friend do 10 seperate ATM transactions- “Why are you taking out $200.00 from the ATM in $20.00 increments? you are just adding up the $2.50 fee?”
Semi-Friend – “It all adds up in the long run”
Me – “No sh*t, it adds up to you wasting money”
Semi-Friend- “No, trust me, it adds up.”
16.
Employee looking in box where we kept the nametags. “Which one is my nametag?”
17.
I knew a couple in my hometown. They were both out drinking and he decided to drive them home. Both drunk. He gets pulled over and they impound the car and take him to jail for a DUI and the officers decide to drive the girl home.
She gets home….. gets in her car…. and drives to the police station to pick her boyfriend up. The officers notice its the same girl they just drove home and they arrested her for drinking and driving.
18.
Former co worker of mine and I were walking through a department store during the holidays. There’s an area dedicated to ugly sweaters and one had the Star of David all over it. My co-worker points to it and says “oh, isn’t that sweater for that Jewish holiday? What’s it called? Holocaust?” I wish her the best.
19.
Explaining to coworker that africa is a huge continent with dozens of countries. And no, you can’t drive there from America
20.
Guy at my high school asked a biology teacher if humans photosynthesize. When told that we don’t he responded “But how come when I go in the sun my skin turns brown?” He was 18.
21.
When I was in high school history class, this dumb as a brick girl asked our teacher (who was from the south, but we weren’t even remotely close to the south, still no excuse) If she’d ever owned a slave.
22.
Biological mom of our former foster son, talking to his court-appointed lawyer (guardian ad litem): He doesn’t need to go to the doctor. All babies get ear infections.
She had 0 idea that he could suffer from hearing loss if she ignored them enough times, not to mention how miserable he felt.
23.
When I worked at a chemical facility, we had a genius production supervisor who figured out that you could increase the RPMs of the mixer without overheating the batch if you just remove the mixing blade, so it’s just a shaft rotating inside a drum of viscous liquid. Then he blamed the guy running the QA testing (me) when the batch failed badly.
24.
I play basketball and this one day we got talking about shooting percentages. So this one kid would try to convince us all that when you would shoot 0 shots and obviously make 0, you shot 100% because you didn’t miss. He started this like 2 years ago and still when people bring it up he says he’s right.
25.
During my senior seminar for an anthropology degree, a fellow student asked if married people started to look like each other as they grew old together because the genetic material they were exchanging during sex was becoming part of the other person’s genome.
