12 Baby Names That Should Be Banned Immediately

Image via Kidspot
Image via Kidspot

At first it seems bizarre that countries like Germany, Sweden, and New Zealand have bans on certain names (and force you to get your baby’s name reviewed by the government if it’s not on a pre-approved list).

But then you stop to think about it, and it makes total sense. You really shouldn’t be able to saddle a kid with a moniker like Dweasel or Blue Ivy, no matter how famous their parents are.

You’d think basic human decency would be enough to put the issue to bed, but even the scientific community agrees. According to a recent study published by Social Psychological & Personality Science, crappy names really do ruin lives. (They lower self esteem, make you less dateable, and can even make you dumber. Yikes).

There are some names that have been totally ruined by historical and fictional figures alike.

Here are the top twelve names we’d recommend not putting on your newborn’s birth certificate.


1. Adolf

Image via Jewish Virtual Library
Image via Jewish Virtual Library

Believe it or not, this name used to be really, really popular. But now it’s fallen out of fashion, for obvious reasons.

Besides ruining your child’s life, a name like that could also get Jr. taken away from you by the state. That’s exactly what happened to a couple who named their baby “Adolf Hitler Campbell”. Though we’re pretty sure that’s not the only reason they were deemed unfit parents…

 

2. Benito

Image via Golberz
Image via Golberz

Leader and founder of the National Fascist Party, Benito Mussolini was Hitler’s counterpart in southern Europe, and his “yes” man. To this day, he’s one of the biggest assholes the Italians (and the world) have ever had to deal with.  

 

3. Atticus

Image via Today
Image via Today

Atticus Finch used to be a hero –  until Go Set A Watchman, the prequel to To Kill A Mockingbird, came out 50 years later. Turns out, everyone’s favorite lawyer was a racist who attended Ku Klux Klan meetings. Huge disappointment.

Even without that awkward legacy though, this name has been thoroughly hipstered out. And it’s time to move on.

Written by Mary McCaw

Mary is a freelance writer and editor. She's based in San Francisco, but lately, home is wherever her suitcase is. If you really are what you eat, she is at least 50% pizza.