Posted on: Aug 02 2017

These 19 People Have Fail-Proof Excuses for Anything



Image via Giphy
Image via Giphy

Sometimes you just really really REALLY want to go home. You’re at an event and you’re just like “f*ck this noise, I want to be in my bed.” Usually you can just be like PEACE and bounce, but sometimes it’s an event for one of those people that gets hella butt-hurt. LIKE SORRY FOR LOVING MY BED MORE THAN YOU.

So, what do you do? Well, you figure out an excuse to get da fuq outta that b*tch! And there are SO many good excuses out there, how do you even begin to choose one? Well, we’ve got you covered! Or, better yet, these 19 people have got you covered!

You see, they’ve developed some “full-proof” excuses to get you outta that door and into your bed. So look no further, because your inspiration has arrived! So go out there, mingle, and then BOUNCE BABY OUT THE DOOR.

These 19 excuses could definitely get you out of something:


Unobtrusively pressing the button on my volunteer ambulance service pager that replays the last saved page. Sometimes I’ve gotten out of something with “head-on collision between semi and small car,” and sometimes with “elderly woman that is constipated.” Either way, no one dares to say, “But you can’t go. You’ve just got to stay.”


We better get going if we’re going to stay ahead of the weather.


My husband has diabetes so when I give him the signal he says “I have to go home and take my insulin”.


“We’d love to stay but we have to feed our cat through a tube at 2 hour intervals”. For reals, we had to make our excuses at a friend’s engagement party because my cat had pneumonia.