19 Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want to Live Alone

11.

My girlfriend & I were renting a house with a gross female friend. We had separate bathrooms & her bathroom was generally heinous in both smell & appearance, with used tampons & other feminine detritus scattered around. As a result, it took us a while to realize that the smell of raw sewage belching forth from her side of the house was not, in fact, her fault. One day, my girlfriend & I heard an ominous gurgling noise from her bathroom. We were assaulted by the smell of raw sewage that was so strong it caused my girlfriend to dry heave. We went to her bathroom, stepping cautiously to avoid the used condoms etc. When we arrived, we discovered that raw, chunky sewage was liberally bubbling up from the drain in her shower (which was so coated in pubic hair, mold, & stains it looked like a modern art masterpiece).

12.

First year college I was living in an old Hungarian widow’s house where she rented out three rooms. It was a good quiet place to study and not get distracted. So one of my fellow renters was a quiet nerdy girl who lived in the basement, she was no problem… then there was Phil… Phil was a 500lb bachelor in his 40s who claimed to be a professional pilot and millionaire (all while renting a room for 400 bucks). He would cook steaks the size of my head and then blame his dishes on me to the old lady who had no idea what to do about it. He’d steal my food, and if my girlfriend was over he’d masturbate and wheeze so loudly we could hear. He also couldn’t fit on the toilet in our tiny shared bathroom so he would shit in the shower and waffle stomp in down the drain leaving a horrible shit smell and brown stains in the shower.

13.

When I was alone one night there was a blackout in our dorm. I was hanging out in the hall talking to the freshman (I was a junior at the time) and we were all shooting the shit. One guy pipes up and says “You’re (blank’s) roommate, right? You like Final Fantasy 7? I love it.” That comment seemed odd, so I asked him how he knew I loved FF7. “Oh, your roommate almost sold me your copy you had on your shelf for $10.” This was a mint condition black label copy of the game, which I thankfully still have. It’s a rare edition, and I spent good money on it. The dude was really cool about it though, figured out that my roommate hadn’t cleared it with me to sell the game and declined.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.