21 Doctors Confess The Dumbest Things They Have Ever Heard From A Patient

Image via Buzzfeed
Image via Buzzfeed

People day the darnedest things and ask the dumbest questions. Seriously, sometimes it’s so baffling that people can go so long without knowing pertinent information.

Like, for instance, how can a woman that has had TWO CHILDREN not know what her period is? Like, what did you think was happening to you every month for years? It just makes zero sense. Or how an adult could think that it’s ok to give your infant coffee. Yeah, that is right, COFFEE.

Think I’m making this sh*t up? Well, I assure you, those things are real AF. Want proof? Just ask the following 21 doctors. They’ve heard the dumbest of the dumb, and had to explain to patients things that they should have already known. If you didn’t appreciate doctors before, it’s about time you start.

These are the 21 dumbest things people have said to doctors:


1.

That just because it says “contains vegetable extracts” on the side of it a can of coke does not count as one of your five a day.

2.

Have had to inform a few male patients that the condom only goes on the shaft and should not be pulled down to include covering of the testicles.

3.

I once had to use the word d*ck instead of penis because the patient did not know the proper term for his genitalia.

4.

How a shorter/fatter 5 ml oral syringe held more volume than a skinnier and longer 1 ml oral syringe. Patient asked “how does this hold more liquid when its shorter??”

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.