There are some things in life you should just never do — never text and drive, never chew with your mouth gaping open like a gahd-damn animal, and never EVER get a significant other’s name tattooed across your chest in Old English.
Why you might ask? Because smacking is gross, duh — and you know that tattoo is going to be a huge mistake when y’all break up in eight months and she takes the dog. Bye bye, Buster. So maybe just stick to matching bracelets, okay?
Tattoos are a wonderful way to express individuality, commemorate loved ones and friends, and they also look pretty f*cking badass. But not all tattoos are created equal and not all tattoos should ever exist on a human body. Just ask the dude who got an entire speedo tattooed around his crotch and bum. I will never understand the reasons for wanting to tattoo your genitals, but if you want your d*ck to look like a banana peel — then go on with your bad self.