lifestyle

21 Of The Most Insane Things That Have Happened During Childbirth

18.

Watching hemorrhoids grow between each push.

19.

Delivered a baby at an Amish farm once. We had just loaded the young lady into the ambulance when the baby decided there was no time for transport to L&D. So we start to deliver there. I’ve never had so many people come into the ambulance, and the entire time we are working the pregnant girl’s mom keeps trying to cover her up. There was no convincing these people to leave us to our work, and we were too busy to put up much of a fight about it. Reminds me of the time we went to an Amish farm for a 20ish female who had been crushed by a hay wagon, as I’m trying to cut her dress off to find injuries and stop bleeding, her mother keeps yanking the dress closed. Happy endings both times, as everyone is alive and well, and the girl who was crushed has had children of her own since then.

20.

But when my mom went and checked herself into the hospital to give birth, everything was going smoothly. Her doctor told her I’d be born around 3:00 AM the following morning (it was about 11:00 AM at the time). At around 10:00 PM that evening, mom went into labor, called the doctor, only to find that her doctor had gone on a good run to What-a-burger, and was sick in the drive through. So I was delivered by a nurse who had never delivered a baby.

21.

Was a labor & delivery nurse but this wasn’t my patient. White mom, white dad, not white baby. “Dad” storms out.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.