Posted on: Jul 08 2017

These 21 People Miraculously Survived The Worst One Night Stands

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Image via The Journal.ie
Image via The Journal.ie

One night stands are always a hit or miss. Sometimes it’s everything you wanted from a boink sesh: quick, painless, to the point, and DONE. You’re like BOY BYE SEE YOU HOPEFULLY NEVER BUT GOOD JOB!

Other times it’s just the worst. You want to get out of that bed ASAP and pray to all the higher powers that you’ll never have to see that horrible person again. Or maybe it wasn’t the other person, it was you. Regardless, that whole night needs to be forgotten ASAP, and you’re happy to be done.

So if you’ve had a shitty one night stand you’d love to forget – you’re not alone! We’ve all been there! That walk of shame ain’t no joke. But if you’d like to feel better, your encounter probably wasn’t as bad as the following 21 people. Seriously, their one night stand sucked majorly. And if you’ve had a worse one night stand PLEASE LET US KNOW.

These are 21 of the worst one night stands EVER:


1.

Went home with a guy- he asks if he can turn on some music. I’m like whatever floats your boat. I did not expect him to turn on some hard core rap music. Nothing I have ever heard on the radio before. I’m there so I figure I can tune out the music – that is until we start having sex and he starts rapping. Not to himself. He is holding my face, looking me in the eyes rapping this song. His intense eye contact still haunts me.

2.

This girl took me back to a hotel she was staying at. We get in bed and I notice there are people sleeping in the bed next to ours. I ask who it is and she said it’s her friends and don’t worry because they are heavy sleepers. We start fooling around and the friends wake up. Turns out to be her mom and sister. They start screaming at us and kick me out. The girl comes out and apologizes and tries to get me to come back in. I noped right the f*ck out of there.

3.

Went home with a random girl, did our thing, went to sleep like normal. I woke up at 7am and tried to get her up. She starts to stir, then has a full-on seizure right on my bed. She was out of it for a good while afterwards, but, luckily, my coworker gets seizures, so I knew what to do. Unfortunately, since I knew nothing about her medical history, I had to call her mom to see if she’d ever had a seizure before. Turns out she hadn’t, so I had to take her to the local hospital where I had to explain, in front of her parents and her sister, that, no, I’m not her boyfriend, no, she couldn’t dress herself, etc.

4.

Moments before penetration I found out she was 2 months pregnant and told me to cum inside of her. I’m well aware of anatomy, but in my drunk state of mind I felt like I was gonna release into a fetus so I was laughing. Anyways, fast forward an hour later she quietly threw up a little bit while during doggy style but let me finish and didn’t tell me. I immediately plopped down and landed neck first into her puke. I left shortly after and she tried to give me a kiss without having brushed her teeth yet, I politely declined and walked a mile back to my car.
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