Tinder is a weird game. Maybe you end up meeting the love of your life and the two of you get married and ride off into the sunset on a unicorn sh*tting roses out of its ass. But let’s be real — those stories are few and far between.
Usually, you message someone on Tinder, they agree to grab drinks, and y’all proceed to chug overpriced cocktails while having the most boring conversation ever about that time he studied abroad in Spain. “Tapas, bro!” You realize that it isn’t meant to be, but you still play with the idea of letting the dude feel you up outside the bar. Hey, it’s been a while, okay?
Sometimes, though, Tinder dates can go heinously wrong. Like — he calls you fat and talks about his ex and how they broke up 3 days ago and how he’s been trying to get her back but needs to get his D wet in the mean time. #yikes
So, when you’re getting carpal tunnel from swiping like the horny mofo that you are, just remember — BEWARE OF THE CRAZIES. And never agree to a date with someone who’s posing with a tiger. Ugh.