23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

by Irvi Torremoro

17.

Anytime my mom brought it up I ran away. She could only manage to tell me ‘you better come to me and ask for birth control, before you come to me and tell me you’re pregnant.’

18.

When my mom was pregnant with my brother she rented a movie that explains how babies are made to little kids. It featured a cartoon sperm swimming across lanes of a pool to meet with the egg.

19.

The whole talk with my mother went like this- Mom-Do you know anything about sex? Me- Yes, the guys thing goes in the girl’s hole. Mom- Exactly, and if I ever found out you let anybody do that to you, I’ll kill you.

20.

My dad was so uncomfortable he couldn’t bring himself to say penis… for the longest time (at my suggestion apparently) we referred to it as the “Voldemort” because it “shall not be named.”

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.