dating

23 of the Strangest Methods People Used to Try to Turn Someone On

13.

On my way home from a late shift at work, there were a group of women on the same train as me, seated literally in front of me behind another row of seats. All were drunk, but only one was making a fool of herself. She kept shouting at me what she thought were compliments but she was just being crude. She then saw that I was eating an apple and insinuated that I bite her Adam’s apple instead…and then insisted that, because it was a ‘rosey’ apple, that my dick must be huge. And the attempt at arousal came moments later when she “seductively” (and I use that term extremely loosely) started dribbling down her chin at me. Then their stop came and she kept screaming at the train doors to let her out.

14.

My boyfriend in high school told me I had a “sexy vagina” while we were fooling around one night. Afterwards I asked him why he said that and he told me he read in his older sisters cosmo that guys should compliment a girls “feminine attributes.” I couldn’t help but laugh and say they probably meant her hips or her boobs. He was not as amused as I was.

15.

Girl was dry humping me super hard, she only did it for a couple minutes but it gave my dick rug burn. She was a good christian girl who wouldn’t do anything beyond groping and making out, that relationship didn’t last long.

16.

She wrung my old man like she was squeezing water out of a face towel. She said she’d read a teen magazine that told her to do that.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.