Kids sure do the darndest things, don’t they? We’ve all been there — we’re 5 years old, the world is our oyster, and we can’t help but run downstairs to show our parents out first-ever erection. It swings about as our parents look at us, horrified, wondering where they went wrong. Okay, so maybe not all of us have been there. But that just proves how weird and gross and embarrassing kids can be on any given Tuesday.
Kids wouldn’t know boundaries if they hit em in the face, and they sure as hell can’t tell when people are f*cking with them. So, kids (rightly) do and say things that are cringeworthy AF. We just try to bury that sh*t deep inside until we forget it ever happened. Well, until your mom brings it up at Thanksgiving. Ever. Single. Year.
Like, do you really need to recount the time I got naked in the yard and started sitting on the sprinkler when I was five? It’s not my fault I had a burgeoning sexuality and a penchant for strong water currents. And I mean, now I just use the shower head, so some things never change. SORRY NOT SORRY, MA.