humor

27 Baby Names That Will Make You Want To Punch The Parent In The Face

7.

I’m originally from the Mormon belt and I have seen some doozies. They basically combine a favorite prefix (“Jay”, “Kay”, “Tay”, “Kel”, “Bay”, “Bryn”, “Kyn”, “Ky”, “Ty”) and mix-and-match with their favorite suffixes (“”Lynn”, “Ley”, “Lie”, “Den”, “Son”). You get one bonus point if you add “Mc” to the beginning. One more if you squeeze as many “y”s in as possible. What do you get? McKaylee, Kyler, Braylee, Brayden, Jayden, JayLynn, McKaylynn, Baylee, Kayson, Kylie, Kynlee, Tylee, Brynleeson, and the possibilities go on and on into a blur of meaningless, cutesy names that I can’t imagine anyone over the age of 10 having.

8.

Special. Had a classmate in high school with that name.

9.

When parents combine the mother and father’s names to create a name for the kid. A couple I know, Mandy and Ronald, named their daughter Ronandy. RONANDY. Just no.

10.

Baby. Like the actual name. Not joking.

11.

My coworker has a grandchild named “Blayze.” I think he wants to punch the mother in the face, too.

12.

So a guy (McDonalds Employee, 30s) I used to work in McDonalds with broke up with his wife (ex McDonalds Employee, with 2 kids together) and got together with an 18 year old (Current McDonalds Employee) and had a baby. They called it Anakin Jean Luc Picard Forbes. Fucking for real.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.