Sex is a wonderful, magical, gross, hilarious, and delicate tango between two (or three or four or sixteen) people. It’s one of the most natural things to do, aside from eating and sh*tting, and hey — you can even do those things while having sex, too! Hoorah!
So when the mood is right, your genitals are feeling frisky, and you need to boink someone RIGHT NOW — you climb on top of the lucky someone when all of a sudden your bodies smush together and make the loudest fart noise imaginable. Both you and your partner are laughing hysterically and the act cannot even go on.
Sometimes, things happen during sex that make you stop everything. I’m looking at the dog who decided it was a perfect moment to stick their nose in your boyfriend’s bum hole. That might not be exactly the kind of butt play he was hoping for, but hey — you take what you can get!
These are 27 of the most hilarious and ridiculous instances of having to stop sex midway through:
1.
I have a clapper light and the sound of balls on butt cheek turned the bedside lamp on… we promptly resumed after some hysterics.
2.
We had been going at it for awhile so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we we’re switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexiest, not at all trying to be funny voice, he goes: “yeah? Well you’re a tight little noodle.” He was furious with himself for saying it after I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to continue.
3.
My diabetic boyfriend’s blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled “JUICE!!!”
4.
My wife and I were going doggy style and I kind of swept her legs out so we were doing it with her on her stomach. She immediately yelled out “remooove the suppoooorts” a la the witch weighing scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It took us 30 minutes before we started again because we were laughing so hard.
5.
My boyfriend’s pet cockatiel started to sing ‘Happy and you know it’ and wolf whistle while watching us.
6.
I thought it would be funny to wear my prescription monocle to bed and she didn’t notice till halfway through.
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
