5.
“Had a guy hang himself on a night we were very short. I had to stand there and wait several minutes for another person before entering the cell. We were able to save him. I had another guy hang himself and succeed.”
6.
“A buddy of mine is a guard at a women’s prison. He once has to confiscate a jolly rancher dildo. These crafty women collected jolly ranchers and molded a rainbow colored shaft. Then wrapped it in Saran Wrap from the kitchen and passed it around.”
7.
“One of my old roommates worked in the county jail. He came home one day with a stone face so I asked him how work was. All he said was ‘I saw a guy eat his shampoo because he couldn’t shower then uncontrollably puke and shit himself. That’s how my day went.'”
8.
“I worked in juvenile corrections. One of my kids threw a tantrum before lights out. After lots of questioning, we eventually learned that it was because one of the other kids was threatening to rape him.”