The problem with plans is that they’re rarely for the day you made them. How I feel about going out changes on a minute by minute basis. Also, I probably only agreed to hanging out because I have trouble saying no and want you to like me. So when I get that magical text from someone saying they have to cancel plans, the wave of relief that washes over me is so warm and rich you could spread it on toast. For all of my people out there who feel the same, these jokes are for you.
canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 13, 2018
Me reading your message previews from the pull down bar on my phone and not answering for the next 6 hours pic.twitter.com/F4FghFHPb7
— Jojo🐝🇹🇹 (@jojo_ambitious1) February 28, 2018
Wow thank you so much for letting me host tonight pic.twitter.com/loJe1mcovS
— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) February 16, 2018
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.
— Probability The Rapper (@random_weighs) November 25, 2017