21.
I was on a trip to Tampa, FL by myself just last month. I had just had the afternoon from hell where I was told that my two year old phone was broken beyond repair (and I hadn’t backed it up recently). After spending several hours and many, many tears at the apple store, I decided to get something to eat. I drove from the mall with my personal pizza to the closest beach. I was sitting on my beach mat in my new jean shorts… Then I went to lay down. When I shifted from vertical to horizontal I felt a massive period blood clot/clump shift down my backside. When I later went to use the bathroom (which was gross btw) there was a blood clot over 2” long. I got a blood stain on my new jean shorts but it was barely noticeable since they were dark. The feeling of my huge clump period blood shift in my underwear is way more uncomfortable than accidentally flashing kids at the local public pool at age 12.
20.
this isn’t exactly a ~beach~ story, but it happened while i was at a beach resort in Mexico swimming with dolphins. when it was my turn to take a lap with the dolphin, my bathing suit bottoms came off all the way to my ankles…mind you, it was my family, plus another family…totaling about 14 people. and there was also a videographer/photographer documenting the entire experience for us to take home a copy of we wanted to. to make things more awkward we got to watch the footage and see the pictures to pick what lucky souvenirs to take home…so my family, plus this random family got to rewatch my bottoms come off…each photo, frame by frame, you can see my bottoms go lower and lower down to my ankles….never again!!!!
19.
I went to switch from laying on my stomach to my back. In the time it took to switch, a bee planted itself on my towel and I laid right on it. I got stung right between the shoulder blades with the stinger stuck in my back. I was lucky to have friends who were able to pull it out but it hurt like none other…
18.
I was a very drunk 17 year old on a beach in Spain. I was with a bunch of people I didn’t know, and had to pee. I went to a porta potty, and 3 local guys tipped it over on me. People I know still laugh about it, 11 years later.
17.
My family visits the Texas coast every year. A few years back my sister and I were running and goofing off in the shallows when my right foot got caught in a hole. To put it simply: my ankle went one way and the rest of me went the other. I couldn’t stand up so my dad had to come haul me out of the water. Our beach house was located on the other side of some dunes, so to get me back up to the house my dad got a wheelbarrow, stuck me in it and wheeled me up the ramp while my mom took pictures to document the whole thing. Fortunately, this happened on our last day of vacation but I got to spend the rest of my final summer before college nursing a bunch of torn ligaments. When my friends asked me what happened I just told them “there really is a hole in the bottom of the sea.”
16.
I spent 10 days in Costa Rica in 2010. I had trouble the first few days with constipation from traveling. I decided to drink some expired Milk of Magnesia that claimed it would take about six hours to “work.” After taking the medicine, I went on a two mile walk AWAY from the villa on the beach. So, I’m two miles away from a toilet, on the beach, and the urge to shit came on quick. My fiancé (at the time) was with me, and told me to just go in the ocean. So I went out far enough that the water covered my waist and just went for it. As I’m expelling several days worth of Costa Rican seafood into the ocean, I realize the waves are pushing the shit back onto me. I can’t stop going, so I just had to stand there as the waves capsized with my own excrement and washed over me…again and again and again. I felt so much better…but a shower was the absolute first thing I did when I got back!
15.
This other time I was rock hunting with my dad at a beach in Northern California, where the ocean is VERY rough and ice cold. That particular beach is designated for rock hunting because the water is too dangerous to swim in. I made the rookie mistake of turning my back to look at a rock and suddenly I saw everyone there BOOKING IT up the beach. Like running for their lives. I turned and saw the biggest wave I had ever seen right in front of me. I tried running then but it was obviously too late and it hit me like a wall, then started pulling me in. I managed to dig my heels in and push against the tide enough to get out. Apperantly I got hit with a sneaker wave, which is like a medium sized tsunami, and I had gotten lucky because just a week later a bigger wave like that took out a mile of the road going to that beach.
14.
So I was boggie boarding. Caught a good wave but unfortunately so did the person next to me, who had no clue how to boogie board. They had zero control over themself and so ended up going underneath my board. This made me flip over while simultaneously smashing and dragging my face along the ocean floor. I was scrapped up so bad and couldn’t feel my face anymore. I crawled out of the water clutching my face and the person closest to the water freaked out and handed me a large wad of paper towels. It was in that moment I realized I was bleeding badly…i ended up looking like I had gotten in a bar fight and broke my nose. It didn’t heal properly and I’m stuck with a bumpy nose for now.
13.
I was in Mexico last year with my family. My little sister and I were swimming in the ocean, there was a lot of seaweed and debris in the water but we just picked it up and threw it farther away from us. I go to do this and realized immediately that whatever was in my hand was too squishy. It was a human poop. In my hand. My 25 year old ass ran screaming and crying from the water across the resort to wash my hands. I had many daiquiris after that.
12.
We were tubing (basically on a big tube being pulled behind a boat) in the ocean, and we were being whipped kind of violently by my uncle, who was driving the boat. I fell off, which is normal, but when I went to get back on the boat, I realized that my tie bottoms had broken and weren’t fixable. I had to be pulled back to the shore hanging onto the back of the tube with my bottom half in the water. It was absolutely mortifying.
11.
This was years ago. I was with one of my first girl friends and we had date at Redondo Beach. We started to get busy and she starts to go down on me. I didn’t realize how sandy my junk was and neither did she, but long story short she spent the next ten min getting sand out of her mouth hahaha.
