dating

This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through

9.

She was on top. She went up and I popped out, just in time for her to come down. My d*ck bent in two between us.

10.

My girlfriend was wearing an apple watch, and if you long press the turn off button it emergency calls the cops, so well we stopped because a dispatcher had to make sure she was not in any harm.

11.

“That’s not my name…”

12.

Girl wasn’t doing anything, I got tired. Faked a finish so I could stop sweating.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.