dating

This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through

21.

She was standing, leaning over the back of the futon, with me behind her. Everything was fun and good until the futon flipped, swinging the bottom of the frame upwards and the back downwards. Simultaneously we both went down/forwards …. while the frame was swinging towards us, smacking her in the forehead. Her head started bleeding, I’d fallen hard on the floor and banged my knee, which was already swelling.

22.

She looked me right in the eye, and said those amazing words, “put a baby in me”. I was 17, she was 16. If any of you would like to know how quickly the penis can go flacid during an act of sexual intercourse, it’s around 1.25 seconds. Took me a few weeks to do it with her next.

23.

A nice ice cold wet dog nose straight into the brown eye; shocked me so bad I went flaccid. This was also the first time I was having sex with my current girlfriend.

24.

I got cucked through the wall by my neighbors who were 10x louder and having more impressive sex than us. I couldn’t keep it up, because he was obviously performing better than I was based on the girls moans and enthusiasm, and I felt emasculated.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.