dating

This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through

25.

House guest told us our cat had been hit by a car. No kidding.

26.

The girl said, and I quote, “No. This is wrong. You just f*cked my sister!” She wasn’t wrong.

27.

Took acid together and about 5 minutes into f*cking I looked at her and a wave of apathy/resentment hit so I lost wood and told her I couldn’t do it anymore.

28.

He was going down on me, came up for air and said in a gutteral tone “Now that’s good eatin’ right thar.” Ew, ew, not sexy, get offa me.

29.

My mother called and left a long detailed message on the answering machine — killed the moment. We don’t have an answering machine anymore.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.