Everyone has been rejected at some point in their lives. If you can honestly say you haven’t, I actually feel sorry for you, because something’s coming. We all want stuff we don’t get, love people who don’t love us back, and find out the thing we were trying for has already been handed off to someone else. It’s the way of the world.
On the bright side, sometimes rejections are steering us in an unexpected direction, towards something better. The right job, right lover, right city. Maybe you got rejected because you really weren’t ready, but now you are, and you’re gonna kill it. Or maybe you were rejected and it ended up being a bullet dodged. Not everything is as good as it looks from the outside.
Right now, people are sharing their rejection stories on Twitter under the apt hashtag #ShareYourRejections. The trend was started by author Saeed Jones, who wrote how many times he’d been rejected from the prestigious Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference in Vermont:
Sometimes I dig up old rejection letters from publishers and literary journals to remind myself that it’s just part of the process.
This week’s #DearFerocity is about facing failure and rejection. Need some advice? DM me your questions and I’ll answer them tomorrow on @AM2DM.
— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) August 15, 2018
I’ve been rejected from Breadloaf so many times I’ve lost count. It’s all good. Maybe facing rejection would be a little easier to take if we talked about it more. #ShareYourRejections
— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) August 15, 2018
A literary agent turned me down because “memoirs just don’t sell.” A few years later, I sold my memoir to Simon & Schuster for six figures. #ShareYourRejection
— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) August 15, 2018
People have been flooding the timeline with their own stories. Some of them are sad, some are triumphant, but they all offer a little perspective on how missing out on something is just a part of your story, rather than the end of it.
I was rejected from the Warner Brothers TV writers’ workshop three years in a row. The next year, I got staffed on Orange is the New Black. #ShareYourRejections
— Lauren Morelli (@lomorelli) August 15, 2018
A guy I went on a few dates with stopped seeing me so he could focus on his “career”. Five years later he was auditioning for one of my films #ShareYourRejections https://t.co/4Zn89ZYCOl
— Sade Sellers (@IAMSadeSellers) August 16, 2018
#ShareYourRejections When I was freelancing, I had a meeting with an accountant who gently told me "You don't make enough money to need an accountant."
— Clyn Laurie (@ClynLaurie) August 16, 2018
I got fired the first day as a wardrobe PA for an indie film. Two years later I'm right now sitting at my desk rocking it as an office PA at a production company ?
— Olivia Brown (@Livy_Brown) August 16, 2018
My book was rejected from SO MANY publishers I don’t remember the total. One wanted it to be a trivia book instead. We went with @Pocket_Books because they believed in what I actually proposed. JKR wrote the foreword and it was a NYT bestseller. #ShareYourRejections
— Melissa Anelli (@melissaanelli) August 16, 2018
Single for a DECADE. #ShareYourRejections
— Lyndsay Kancher (@lyndsayaissance) August 16, 2018
#ShareYourRejections
In high school, I was told by teachers that I was a waste and essentially useless; that I'll never impact anyone.
I've preached and done school assemblies in several states. Stopped people from committing suicide.
Work with autistic kids.
And I'm not done.— Sean Snuff McMahon (@wolfkaosaun) August 16, 2018
I was up for a role in a play in London that involved a lot of artists I hugely admire. I was cut late, which is always demoralising.
If I’d got it, I would have been unavailable for two TV projects… One of which was the pilot for Krypton.#ShareYourRejections
— Cameron Cuffe (@thecameroncuffe) August 16, 2018
I swiped right
She swiped left#ShareYourRejections— Gavin Somers (@gaviiins) August 16, 2018
I was accepted then rejected by the same publication in the same week. #ShareYourRejections
— Katherine Jamison (@Not_the_whiskey) August 16, 2018
#ShareYourRejections
All the character limits on all the accounts on twitter aren't enough to list them.— Colin J Williams (@SabotagedFool2) August 16, 2018
Though some people think these stories veer too much towards success. Afterall, sometimes people get rejected and never eventually succeed. Kinda depressing! But true.
Makes perfect sense, and addresses the privilege behind the tidy narrative that rejection of any sort alone makes one "stronger" or fosters "growth." It's having the appropriate resources, and even luck, to enable one to pursue what they want. #ShareYourRejections https://t.co/0OPyjKMBWP
— Jase313 (@Jase313) August 16, 2018
This whole "My book was rejected 20 times but then it became a NYT bestseller" is inspiring and all, but like…can we not frame the narrative in a way that enforces this idea that rejection is only valid if it ultimately leads to some wild success story? #ShareYourRejections pic.twitter.com/kacaZm6wuc
— Mekita Rivas (@MekitaRivas) August 16, 2018
And there’s a lot to be learned from rejection that has nothing to do eventual success. Success also isn’t contingent on constant failure, it usually includes a lot of help, luck, and opportunity along the way.
Still, it’s good to get a glimpse at other people’s rejections even if it just reminds you that feeling like a loser sometimes is actually totally normal.