entertainment

These 21 Dudes Met the Scariest Dads Imaginable

9.

Sitting on the couch with my Jewish now ex-wife’s dad the first night I met the parents when I heard her mother from the kitchen: “Not only is he CATHOLIC…. he’s IRISH…. those are the WORST KIND!” That was fairly awkward.

10.

My high school girlfriend missed a week of school because she had pharyngitis. One day I went over to bring her some stuff from her locker and thought it would be funny to walk in wearing a surgical mask. I stood outside the house tying it around my head when her very tall and stocky father came out and asked me who I was and what I was doing. I told him I was the new bf and thought it would be funny to wear a mask. He wasn’t amused and neither was my gf.

11.

Her mom greets us and seems delighted to meet me, which puts me in a good mood. Then she runs upstairs to grab her dad, who I can hear moaning and groaning about coming down. I didn’t make out all of what they said, but I heard him distinctly say “I’m not introducing myself to a 17 year old dipshit who thinks he can touch my daughter”. Oof, okay. My girlfriend and I awkwardly stand around pretending we’re not hearing this stuff, when we hear a “Fine!” and the parents both walk back down the stairs. Her dad totally reluctantly, in this over-the-top way extends his hand and says “You’re so and so?”. Literally just as I reach my hand out to say yes, I get a nosebleed. He stands there for a moment, mutters “yup” and walks straight out the back door to his woodshop, where he stayed for the rest of the night.

12.

He yanked my arm after saying something like “yeah she’s nice I guess” about his daughter, and said to me “but if you ever hurt her you’ll really wish you hadn’t” while looking me dead in the eye.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.