dating

These 21 People Know About Their Significant Other’s Embarrassing Secrets

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Finding someone to love and who loves you back is the stuff of romance movies where Ryan Gosling is shirtless for most of the time. You look at each other with heart eye emojis, you f*ck like the wild street dogs that you are, and you can’t imagine your life without them. Dating someone also means finding out embarrassing little secrets about them and pretending that you haven’t. I mean, wouldn’t you want to spare bae’s face when you find their old Myspace emo music account from when they were ~sOoOo~ angsty? 2006 was a rough time.

Maybe after five months into the relationship, you realize that your girlfriend unleashes monster farts in her sleep. And I’m not talking about little squeaks and toots in the night (awwww) — I’m talking about earth shattering vibrations and gurgling noises that could be lifted straight from the movie, Alien.

Or perhaps you stumbled across your boyfriend’s geriatric porn collection while you were perusing the internet on his iPad. The boners he was popping while passing by the old folk’s home seem way less peculiar now. Whatever you eventually end up finding out about your lover, be the bigger person! And definitely don’t tell them about that time they peed the bed and you had to clean it up. Or do and watch their dignity crumble before your yes. BWAH HA HA.

These 21 people found out the most embarrassing secrets about their significant others:

1.

My ex was into geriatric porn. Never once told me about it, but I saw TONS of it on his computer once. Never mentioned it. I was 13 yrs younger than him, and we had a great sex life, so it didn’t bother me.

2.

He searches for porn stars that look like me to jack off too. And then he feels guilty.

3.

So my ex was actually a YouTube personality when she was younger. She refused to tell me her channel name. Of course, after much digging I found her channel, but it never seemed right to tell her that I watched some of her videos.

4.

She farts really long squeakers in her sleep, sometimes.

5.

She doesn’t snore. She honks. Imagine the sound of one of those rubber chickens being pressed slowly, but with a much lower pitch. The first time I was woken up by it, I thought our AC might be broken or something. When I realized the source of the sound was from my wife’s fucking throat I was terrified.

6.

When we first started dating my husband was super high on some meds from a medical procedure and started crying and confessing a ton of stuff. Like how he can’t be more dominating/forceful in bed because when he was younger he was actually arrested on fake rape charges by an angry girl. Asked him the next day if he remembered the night before and he said no, so I never brought it up again.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.