These 27 Drugged Out Patients Said The Most Ridiculous Things

17.

After I got my teeth removed and woke up I had an UNCONTROLLABLE urge to drive (I had recently got my permit). I was like “let me drive I want to go!” My mom had to physically restrain me by putting her forearm against my throat against a wall. The nurse also had to help restrain me. I cooled down after like 5 mins of this.

18.

Not me but my friend got knocked unconscious and and hurt her neck so they gave her some pain medications, when they took her for a ct she was asking why and the nurse told her they had to take a picture of her brain and she asked if she should smile.

19.

As I was passing out to get my wisdom teeth done the nurse who was putting me out said something about “you may feel an itching or burning in your genitals please resist the urge to scratch it” and I answered with “no problem, you can take care of my genitals for me” and she answered with “maybe I should make it so you don’t wake up” as my eyes closed and that’s the last thing I remembered. I’m sure the next hour or two was terrifying as I contemplated whether she’d killed me and if I deserved to die.

20.

My girlfriend had broken her ankle pretty badly I showed up in the ER shortly after she’d arrived, and had to step out briefly so that the nurses could set the bones back. They had to give her something pretty intense for the pain, believe it was ketamine. I came back in after it was done, and hilarity ensued. She forgot repeatedly that she’d even broken her ankle. She constantly worried that she was swearing too much (there was a little boy in the next bed), which she was not. She thought that reality had broken and that there were “eight universes all at once.”

21.

I recently had open heart surgery. When you wake up they give you a heart shaped pillow to hold onto and put pressure on your chest (which feels amazing). When I woke up I threw the pillow at my mum and told her that whoever came up with that idea was the most ridiculous person and screaming that no one wants something on their chest after it’s been broken. That pillow ended up being my favorite thing and I kept it with me 24-7 for a couple of weeks.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.