Posted on: Jul 28 2017

These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

Writer


Image via Giphy

Have you ever known someone so delusional, so out of touch with reality, that it took everything inside of you to keep from smacking them upside the face? If you haven’t, then you are one lucky son of a b*tch — because they seem to be running rampant all over the world. I’m lookin’ at you, old white man in the White House!

Maybe it’s your uncle who printed his rambling and incoherent sayings on “inspirational” posters because he assumes his thoughts are a gift to humanity. Or maybe that rich kid from school can’t fathom why anyone would need to work. “Just tell your parents that you need a new car,” he says. “BMWs aren’t THAT expensive,” he says.

So whether these delusional people are blood related (I’m so, so sorry), or it’s the middle aged woman drinking rosé and complaining about “poor people” at the table next to you at brunch — just remember to shrug those beezies off and keep rolling your eyes at the bro named Chad anytime he proclaims that he’s God’s gift to women. Like, no Chad — you’re a roided up looney who’s one dick pic away from date raping an entire college. Bye, Felipe!

These are 21 of the most out of touch and delusional people known to mankind:


1.

Worked a night job where I met someone who was “studying” rather than going to school. Eventually I got out of him that he was studying to be a “seducer.” He studied Cleopatra, Rasputin, Casanova, etc. to learn the art of seduction. Basically this guy’s life plan was to just “seduce” his way through life. He had an intricate plan on how he was going to seduce our supervisor for a raise, seduce multiple spouses to support him, even how to get free coffee by “seducing” the barista. He must have done a lot of seducing to keep working that barely-over-minimum-wage night job for years.

2.

I work in a small town radio station. I’ve seen lots of rookies fresh out of broadcast school let the tiny amount of fame they get from being on a small town radio station go to their head. This one guy came in to work one day, madder than hell that small town radio famous wasn’t famous enough to get him out of a speeding ticket.

3.

My Brother was always bragging about how chicks he worked with wanted to fuck him. Then after 2 or 3 months, whenever the guys were talking about chicks they hooked up with, he would always talk about these beautiful women that wanted him which he just never got around to hooking up with. One time after starting a new job, he comes home all excited and yells “Holy shit, the receptionist at this place is GORGEOUS and guess what?! She wants to fuck me!” I said “Dude, you’ve been there one day. How do you know she wants to fuck you?” So he says, “Well I just walked through the front door and as I was passing by, she looks me dead in the eye and says… ‘Good morning.'”

4.

My current boss. He thinks the business is doing ok or is in a rough spot. He’s slowly choking and killing it with his managing. I see the shop closing mid to late August.

5.

The pastor of a church who believed that he was *his own words* “God’s gift to preaching,” even though attendance was dropping precipitously. When told that his sermons were too long and meandering, and that the people wanted more prayer to God instead, he replied, “People don’t come to church for God – they come to hear what I have to say!”
VIEW COMMENTS

ADVERTISEMENT