5. He’ll never steal your girl (or guy).
…Just snuggles.
Any decent human being who calls themselves your friend wouldn’t steal your boo either. But when your friend is both decent and, more importantly, a human, there’s always a chance the object of your affection could fall for them instead of you.
Eliminate the possibility by choosing a dog for your wingman – he’ll get more attention, sure, but you’ll be the one to close the deal.
6. Come to think of it, he won’t steal your beer, either.
Because he’s a good guy, or because he lacks the opposable thumbs and human mouth required to drink it? You’ll never know, but what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
