17 Couples That Abstained from Sex Until Marriage Share Their Stories

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Marriage is a big f*cking deal. We spend our lives looking for that perfect someone, who can put up with us for the rest of our lives, make babies, and put up with those babies for the rest of their lives, all while you grow old together. So, how do you figure out that they’re the one? There’s so much you have to cross off a checklist. Like, do they like dogs? Will they put up with my cat? Will they care that I can cry over anything and really love drinking bottles of wine while watching Gilmore Girls for the millionth time over?

I mean, those are all important questions that need to be answered from my future husband. But one of the biggest deals for me is whether or not my partner and I are sexually compatible. I grew up in a pretty conservative household and I was never encouraged to have sex before marriage. I didn’t even know what the f*ck happened in between the sheets until my peers told me. My parents told me absolutely nothing. So naturally, I didn’t listen to anything they had to say about saving yourself and decided to lose my virginity when I was sixteen. Haven’t regretted it since, mainly because sex is fun and I probably wouldn’t have been able to wait, anyway. Sorry not sorry, mom.

But what about those people that have made a promise to themselves that they’d wait for marriage? First of all, kudos to you and your self-discipline, because that’s a long f*cking time. I commend those that have waited until they’ve found “the one” because that’s one less thing to cloud your senses from figuring out whether or not you’re really in love. Believe me, I’ve found that the ones that you have the best, mind-blowing sex with are most likely the ones you’re not going to spend the rest of your life with. It sucks, but it’s true. Drop the f*ckboy that gives the best head and look out for a better guy, he’s somewhere out there. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

These 17 people share their experiences of saving sex until marriage:


My husband and I waited until we were married to have sex. We were both virgins on our wedding night. We didn’t have any difficulty consummating the marriage, we were both very anxious and ready. Our marriage (9 years now) has had some ups and downs. We’ve got 3 kids, and – I feel – a very healthy, satisfying sex life. We didn’t get outside much on our honeymoon.


My father was a bit of a hound in his neighborhood. My mother was significantly younger and was waiting for marriage before she had sex. My dad had been dating her for a few months and was trying his damnedest to get it in. However, none of his best techniques were working. So one time he was going out with my mom’s cousin (they were good friends from before) and complaining about his sexless life. My mom’s cousin gives him this advice: “Well, women like shoes right? But you wouldn’t buy a shoe without trying it on first, right?” Now being a man, he can’ think of any way this could go wrong. My mom is a very logical person and, while very strong in her moral convictions, can be persuaded. So one night they are making out and my dad tries to make a move and my mom rejects. He then sees his opportunity and uses the shoe line on my mom. She then looks at him for about 2 seconds and replies: “I am not shoes.” And he never brought it up again. Married for 28 years now.


I’ve only been married for a month (We dated for 4 1/2 years and were friends for a while before then) but my wife and I chose to wait until we were married to have sex. It was her decision and I respected it. I don’t think our first time was any “more special” as a lot of people tend to say, but it was perfect for us and I wouldn’t change it for anything.


My wife was a virgin when we met and abstained from sex until marriage for religious reasons. I was already sexually experienced but fell in love with her so I made a choice to abstain until we were married. We were together about 2 years prior to marriage. On our wedding night we reached our consummation destination and my wife was understandably nervous. We started in missionary and I tried my best not to hurt her. Going slow didn’t help. She was in very bad pain but kept telling me to finish. I thought that once the seal was broken that it would be non stop lovefest. Little did I know that her vaginal tissue would be ripped so badly that we would not be able to engage in any sexual activities for about three weeks after the first time. We have been married for six years now and the only issue we have had is that my wife has had a hard time coping with the fact that I have been sexually involved with other women and she waited for me.

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.