entertainment

17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

8.

We were in court because my ex husband hadn’t paid a court-ordered payment to me. This was his contempt hearing. His defense? He said exactly this: “Judge, you ordered no-contact. YOU, my lawyer who quit, cops, and just about everyone told me I better never contact the plantiff again. So how am I supposed to pay her?” My lawyer stood up and said, “You send the check to me.” The judge looked at my ex, shook his head. Rubbed his eye brows. Then said, “I hope you have your check book with you today, because if you don’t, you’re going to spend the night in jail. Write a check, hand it to Ms. Lawyer, and I never want to see you in my court again.”

9.

There’s a video of a dog running up to it’s owner, then the lady who stole the dog says “he does that to everyone.”

10.

Officer: “Do you have any drugs or weapons on you?” Suspect: “These are not my pants.” Needless to say, he had drugs and weapons in his pants.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.