entertainment

17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

11.

The Affluenza Teen is the worst. For those who don’t know, a kid (under 18) in Texas was drunk driving a pickup truck with a bunch of people in it, including people in the bed, and wrecked it. Brutally, too, flipped it over. The driver was fine, but some of the passengers either died or were paralyzed. His lawyer argued that he had “Affluenza,” saying that because his parents had spoiled him so badly he wasn’t aware of his actions and therefore wouldn’t be fair to suddenly hold him accountable now. He was ordered to an expensive rehab instead of jail, sparking pretty serious public outrage.

12.

I prosecuted one last year who insisted that the government does not have the ability to lawfully require that citizens have driver’s licenses before operating motor vehicles on public roads. He included a 40 page brief that any amount of googling quickly revealed was copied and pasted from various internet sources – all of which were 100% wrong about every legal claim they made. Cases cited with utterly false rules of law, some cases just made up. In court the guy mostly argued that his friend had told him all of this stuff so it must be the real deal.

13.

A woman got caught printing her own money and argued that she’d read a news article which said Obama had made a new law allowing people to print their own money.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.