Teenagers and hormones go hand in hand, especially in boys. It’s no surprise whenever a guy friend tells me of some awkward encounters they’ve had dealing with porn and their parents. It’s just the nature of the game. Boys are just as curious about porn as anything else and probably much more interested in it than school, I’m sure.
Getting caught with your pants down while watching porn is a hilariously humiliating situation for both parents and the kid. What do both parties do in the situation? Mostly, dads understand much more than moms and the kid gets to keep this embarrassing memory ingrained in his memory forever. Fast forward years later at a party equipped with vodka shots, then they’ll bring up that memory for a great icebreaker.
Parents are made to embarrass their kids, especially in situations like this. Kids need to realize that unlocked doors are their worst enemy when trying to watch illegally downloaded porn. And always clear your browser history before mom asks to borrow the laptop, you nitwits.
These 17 guys share when their parents found their porn stash:
1.
I used to download sh*tloads of random porn on Kazaa long ago. I’d literally type in “porn” then click hundreds of links and just let them download overnight. In the morning I’d check to see which movies actually finished and weed through the good/bad/disgusting. I should mention this was on my family computer located in my father’s office. One morning I got the dreaded foot stomp from the floor above. I raced upstairs at about 6am to my father screaming at me and saying something about my mother being in tears. I didn’t really understand anything until I noticed a video of a huge 300lb fat chick getting fucked by some skinny skumbag. I was incredibly embarrassed and told them it was just a virus or spyware that got installed on the computer. I used very technical language like “ram” and “bios” to confuse them. Later that year one of my friends fat sister showed up at the door to pick up her brother. My father called down to me and said “Hey son, your girlfriends at the door.”
2.
When I was ~12 or so I had a floppy disk with a few pictures on it my dad found. He used Paint to put his face on all of the girls and posted the story to his website. Even at the time I thought it was hilarious.
3.
12 year old me told my father the lesbian porn I accidentally downloaded was for my health class paper. At the time I believed he bought it but he probably just let it go.
4.
My dad caught me busting a nut to a fake-nude picture of Jennifer Lopez when I was 13. He said, “I don’t care what you look at, or do, just don’t let mom catch you, or we both lose the internet.” So I continued to masturbate to fake celebrity nude pictures, covert ops style. Mom never found out.
Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.
