One can only hope that when you’re moving into a new place, everything checks off your list. Most important on the top of the list: the house isn’t falling apart. Secondly, you get along with your neighbors. No one wants beef with the neighbors. You want to be able to go over whenever you’re in need of sugar or butter, of course.
And if you can’t? Well, then you’re screwed and you definitely won’t be able to ask them to check on your mail when you’re out of town on vacation. Better luck having a bestie check on the house instead of relying on the neighbors. Especially if they’re such a**holes and can’t handle having you around.
It’s their loss if they don’t want to get along with you, anyway. You’re a beautiful, shining gem and if those idiots don’t wanna make peace, then you can look out for them on Neighborhood Watch. Make sure to keep your dogs locked and your pets as far away from them as possible, so they can’t f*ck with your sh*t. The neighborhood won’t be the same after this turf war.
These 17 nasty neighbors are unbearable:
1.
I once lived in an apartment where the wall was thin. The neighbors bathroom was on the same wall as my bedroom. The neighbor had the loudest flatulence I’ve ever heard in my life and he liked to come home late at night, run a bath, and let it all rip. He could hear me ROFL and he’d be like ITS NOT FUNNY DUDE. Anytime we saw each other around the complex it would be kinda awkward
2.
Long story short, my downstairs neighbor decided to sandblast his brick wall on the down low without telling the landlord. Living in an old brick building I asked him if he sealed up all the cracks in his unit, he said sure. Fast forward a week later, sandblasting commences. I’m watching football when suddenly this white dust starts coming up from the floor. I look around and it’s coming up everywhere. Five minutes later my entire unit is completely filled with white dust.
3.
We live next to some redneck a**holes who hate our dogs for no reason. One day I see the prick father throw something in our fenced in yard to our dogs. I go over to see what it is… Chocolate. A huge bar.
4.
I work pretty early, and on the weekends, and generally go to bed around 11pm. This friday night, my neighbors in the duplex on the far side of me threw a “Welcome home from jail” party for somebody. Sure enough, loud music late at night, but I figure “Meh, it’s Friday, people should be able to party.” So I just try to tune it out. Not so for the neighbor who I share my backyard fence with. He comes out and tells them to “Shut the f*ck up, b*tches!” Angry words are shouted back and forth, kind of across my yard. “I will f*ckin’ shoot you motherf*cker!” “Bring it, b*tch! I’m in the 512 Crips!” (I think that’s what he said) “You’re in the 512? So am I!” “No sh*t!” “Well, come on over and have a beer!” Crisis averted, music turned down, no double murders that night.
Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.
