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19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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When you’re just a lowly peasant (sup fam!) and you get the opportunity to boink a famous rockstar or celebrity — you grab that opportunity by the balls. You may also grab a former Disney Channel cast member by the balls and then relentlessly talk about it at brunch over five glasses of rosé with your girlfriends.

The hookup may not always be a spectacle of trips to Puerto Rico or champagne on ice because that’s what he likes (unless you’re f*cking Bruno Mars of course), but more a drunken dance of trying to take your tube top off in the back of a tour van while a coked up musician tries to get hard. Hey — no one ever said banging a rockstar was going to be easy!

So just take it from these 19 groupies and relish in their celebrity f*cking glory. It turns out that sucking off Nelly’s entire tour bus with your best friend didn’t get you any closer to speaking “Country Grammar,” but just gave you a literal and metaphorical bad taste in your mouth.

These 19 people spill what it’s really like to hook up with famous rockstars and celebrities:


1.

About 10 years ago my co-worker and her friend blew then entire Nelly tour bus, like 15 – 20 dudes. The ladies started crying after the first 3 or 4 guys but finished the job. Bragged about it at work too. WTF.

2.

My cousin once gave meatloaf an handjob. Every year I yell at her at thanksgiving saying “hey tell the story about how you gave Meatloaf a handjob.”

3.

My friends mum slept with Robert plant back in the day on a few occasions as a groupie. He gave her a clock as a present which turned out to be a clock from Royal Victoria Station in London. She talked quite fondly of the time and seemed to generally just be happy she was banging somebody attractive and good in bed. Oh and was from the best band in the world.

4.

My friend blew Joey Badass and some of his entourage after his show; apparently she was one of the top four blowjob givers they had ever encountered as she proudly told me after.
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Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.