entertainment

21 Awkward People Accidentally Touched Someone of the Opposite Sex

13.

I was 12, maybe 13. At crushes house, crushing hard. She had a basket ball hoop and asked if I play. devilish grin creeps on to my face. Instantly took up guard. She fakes left. runs right. shes too slow. Puts up shot in front of me like im some kinda bitch. Fuck that. I swat the ball like a recruiter, my mother, and jesus was there watching. She tries holding on to ball. Big mistake. She falls. Hard. I fall on top of her. Harder. Bruised her rib. Bloody knees and elbows. She doesnt talk to me all the way up till senior year and tells every girl in school. Still undefeated.

14.

Went to see a friend’s play. (That coincidentally, had her getting naked on stage, which was a complete surprise to me, though I wasn’t complaining.) I went to congratulate her after the show went in for a hug and accidentally got like a full on handful of boob. And neither of us said anything and acted like it didn’t happen, like you do.

15.

I was in a store snuck up on my girlfriend’s sister and hit her with a boat paddle as petty revenge for hitting me with a broom earlier. Right on her butt (We were young and dumb). As I muttered something clever like “How do you like dem apples??” She turned around and it turned out to be a lady in her 40s wearing the same jeans/ pink shirt combo. I apologized thoroughly and explained myself and she was ok with it only because I basically told her she looked like a teenager from the back, in so many words. And no, my girlfriend and her sister just watched it all and offered no help or confirmation of the same outfit from behind another aisle.

16.

Was sitting on the “Maid of the Mist”, the boat that tours Niagara Falls. And the boat rocked a bit and a total MILF fell over and landed in my lap in a sitting position making me feel like a bad Santa.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.