entertainment

21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

13.

Once picked up a guy who shit himself and passed out.

14.

One night on St Pattys day I picked up a drunk man who turned out to be the CEO of a fortune 500 company. He gave me his business card and invited me inside his buddys house to show me his friends dog. I pet the dog and awkwardly explained to the homeowner who I was and why I was in his house. “Uhhhh bob wanted me to meet your dog.” The next passanger was a young man who was coming down off of mushrooms. He told me his dreams of becoming a pastry chef. He moved into the cify from a rural town because he wanted to be closer to the cross dressing community. He was completely straight and met his girlfriend at a drag show.

15.

I drove an unattractive woman to mcdonalds at 3am. She explained to me that she was actually a stripper and she recently got jumped by the other strippers and her eyeball almost popped out when they were beating her.

16.

This probably may sound unbelievable, but one time I picked up a stunningly hot MILF and a younger dude. They start making out very passionately, & when they catch a breather here & there, the conversation goes somewhat like this- F: You know I’m your boss right… M: I don’t f*cken care. They continue making out…… then another pause for a breather. F: You also realize that I’m married right? M: To a f*cken douchebag who hasn’t eaten you out in years. The woman relents and they continue making out for a total of nearly 15 mins (ride is about 30 mins long). Next, the guy asks me something I didn’t expect, hands me $50 cash and says, “Dude I’m gonna eat her out for the rest of the journey, you’ll get $50 more at the end of the ride.” Being a passionate lover of eating out women myself, I simply tell him, “don’t make a mess in my car” as if I just brofisted him.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.