dating

21 Things People Did During Sex Without Warning

5.

She had a seizure while riding me.

6.

Trying to change lanes without signaling. I will never understand why guys do this, unlubricated anal isn’t going to fell good for either of us.

7.

I had a hook up come over and we were making out on my bed naked, she was ontop of me and then I saw a look on her face like a “push” or something. And then there was SHIT ALL OVER ME. She got up and ran to the bathroom. I laid there in shock. Then I felt bad for her (i dont know why, I felt bad because thats really something to be embarrassed about it.) I felt bad for her and grabbed the clumps of poop off me and my bed, and the trail to the bathroom. I threw them away, washed my hands, stripped the bed then laid down waiting for her to come back. Totally got laid after that.

8.

He’d just finished rapid-fire assaulting my cervix with me screaming so much I was afraid someone would call the cops. He finishes, pulls out and stands up behind me (I was bent over the side of the bed, him on the floor). I’m in a little melty facedown heap on the bed, in a state of complacency. It’s all quiet behind me. I suspect nothing. This is when he proceeds to piss on me, clothed. Now that is a surprise. It wasn’t the fact of the piss, or my clothes, that made me yell at him to stop. It’s the fact that it wasn’t my place – I was staying at a friend’s place and the room was carpeted. He stopped when he was done. I ran into the bathroom to strip off, and came back to survey the damage.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.