21 Things People Did During Sex Without Warning

9.

My high school girlfriend and I were enjoying the benefits of an empty house. We ended up on the couch, she sitting there, while I was on my knees, straddling her. After I came, while I was trying to remember how to use my legs so I could dismount, I hear this odd giggle, followed by the most unexpected pain my nuts have ever experienced. She punched my innocently dangling, overly trusting balls. Hard. I went off the couch backwards, flopped into the floor sideways, and puked on her mom’s carpet. She actually didn’t realize that it would hurt me that bad, and yes, she really was that naive.

10.

During the first sexual encounter I had with a guy I’d been dating, I’m giving him a handjob as we sit on the bed facing each other. He leans over to put saliva on his penis, to lube it up I guess, and is flexible enough to almost reach it to his mouth. It’s kind of weird to me, but whatever. He goes to do it again, and leans up to kiss me. That’s when I taste his own semen in his mouth.

11.

Answered a phone call from her mom. I didn’t stop.

12.

My girlfriend just licked my asshole during sex. My first initial reaction was shock and discomfort. Overall though: Not bad.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.