entertainment

The 21 Worst Airplane Experiences

9.

I had boarded a plane in Florida, exhausted after working 16 hour days filming for the past month and was ready to get home. I fell asleep and woke up 2 and a half hours later, excited that I had slept through the entire flight. Then I realized we were still sitting in the runway in Florida.

10.

An overnight flight – checked in online with an aisle seat but didn’t realize it printed as middle until too late. Had a guy next to me trying to get comfy all night by putting his ass on my arm. That’s until everyone woke up because while passing out customs forms, the flight attendants realized a gentleman had died in his sleep sometime in the last 5 hours.

11.

About to land, typical message from the pilot talking about the weather etc. When at the end of the speech he exclaims “NO DON’T TOUCH THA-” then soon followed after a swift termination of the loudspeaker.

12.

I had a colostomy bag for about 6 months to let my colon heal after an accident where it was perforated (I fell and was impaled on a barbed wire fencepost). On a plane, coming off painkillers so I had really bad diarrhea – it turns out my colostomy bag is not attached correctly, where the hole in my gut is not lined up with the hole in the bag. I’m dozing off when I feel warmth and smell this horrible smell of fresh shit – my colostomy bag leaked copious amounts of liquid shit all over the front of me. Stunk up the cabin badly – had to go into the bathroom and try to get shit off of my dress shirt and slacks. Stayed in as long as I could – came out soaking wet and about as embarrassed as i’ve ever been.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.