Sure, we’ve all seen employees and coworkers do some shady sh*t like steal our lunch from the fridge or clip their toenails at their cubicle (ugh), but that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ridiculous stuff some workers have pulled. Like, the people who piss in walk-in freezers or give blow jobs to 18 year old kids in a PEDIATRIC hospital. #NOPE
We all like to think that we work with the craziest crazies of them all, but that’s just so far from the truth. I mean, are there worse things than having your boss sit you down and tell you that you can’t watch porn while working the forklift. TBH, that just seems pretty dangerous. But hey, whatever you have to do to bust a nut!
So while you might not enjoy your workplace or coworkers THAT much — just remember that one guy had to deal with an employee who kept faking relatives’ deaths in order to take weekend trips to Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in your delusional attempt at keeping a job?
These 23 bosses reveal the craziest things they’ve ever witnessed an employee do:
1.
c
2.
I manage a small weld shop. Finding reliable welders is difficult, so a lot of shit flies. This sometimes leads to weird employees. This one guy we hired stopped showing up. After like 3 days days, he walks in the door. He’s bright red from being sunburnt to shit, and his clothes are torn to shreds. Dude was drinking on a little aluminum boat and somehow got lost at sea. He looked like Tom Hanks from Castaway! He didn’t have cell phone reception, so he wasn’t able to call me. He did take a bunch of pictures over the few days he was lost at sea, though. Including one where he was being rescued by the coast guard. I gave him the rest of the week off. Cost guard took him to the hospital, he checked himself out, and immediately came into work. Didn’t even go home and shower. Odd dude.
3.
Had a see through water bottle that was filled with vodka. He started the day off fine but was legless by lunch. Drove him home (40mins each way) because he couldn’t afford a cab. Talked the owner out of firing him and instead we helped him get into a program. That was 4 years ago. He’s the production manager now. Model employee now in fact.
4.
When I was a kid working at a grocery store, another cashier would often buy and then chug a half gallon of milk to get sick to go home. Job was horrid, so it was entertaining at the time.
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
