Move over f*ckboys of Tinder, there’s a new Jedi in town and it’s you! Have you ever wanted something out of someone, a situation, or yourself, but you were too tied up in the bullsh*t that is your subconscious to get anything done? We’ve all been there. I mean, if group projects in college taught me anything, it’s that you have to get behind some serious mind-f*ckery to get sh*t done. I also learned that I f*cking hate group projects, but I digress.
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and it seems to be going nowhere? Or perhaps they’re incessant bullies who just want to get a rise out of you. Here’s a trick — tell them they have something in their teeth right as they’re spewing insults. You’ll throw them straight out of whack for at least a minute and it will give you time to exit the situation, or punch that
nazi motherf*cker in the face!
Do you want people to like you at work? Ask Bob about his boat. Ask Janet about her son’s graduation. People love talking about themselves, and the next time you need a little favor — Bob and Janet are going to be eating out of your gahd-damn hand. So whether you’re trying to mind-f*ck your way out of paying for a ticket, or you just like being a manipulative, self-serving little sh*t (sup), try these tricks out and you may be living like you’d always imagined.