23 Cringeworthy Things Guys Do When They’re Trying To Be Romantic


Thinking they can go through a planned (romantic) script to talk to me, instead of just talking to me like a normal person. A guy I barely knew from school (we had never really talked) suddenly sent me several text messages of poetry, telling me in flowery language how my hair was “like spun silk,” my “voice like music,” etc. I had not given him my phone number and we did not have close friends in common, so my message back was “Hi, how did you get my number?” He answered “That does not matter, all that matters is that you are so [number of compliments].” I never replied again, I do not want exaggerated poetry about myself out of nowhere and I don’t talk to people who brush off my questions to play out their little fantasy of wooing their crush.


Too much clinginess. “Do you miss me?” No I fucking saw you yesterday.


Long-term, unrequited love despite multiple rejections. I’ve had to dump male friends for it even though I wasn’t the object of affection, because it was too cringey. And they wouldn’t listen to reason unless possibly if I was cruel (”you’re a long haired neckbeard who smells. She’s a pretty professional with an art career. Stop. It. You’re making her uncomfortable.”) But I never could bring myself to do it. They actually operated under the belief that the longer their ”love” held, the more romantic it would be to her when she came to her senses someday. Because it was simply impossible that anybody loves her as much as they do, and they don’t realize how vaguely insulting that is to believe.


Telling us that they have a big dick. Like ok, good to know but WHY? No I do not feel like swooning.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.