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23 Ex-Cons Share The Craziest Things They’ve Witnessed in Jail

19.

One prisoner had pica. He would eat so many dangerous things that he would need surgery weekly. He had his stomach cut open so often that the surgeons installed a temporary zipper on his abdomen for easier access. The man managed to get out of his restraints and undid the zipper. The CO on duty went to check on him and he was playing with his small intestines.

20.

I was in the prison in Azerbaijan, the craziest thing were prices for sex. Since people were very poor and some starving, some would do anything for food or money. Like a hand job would cost $1, a blow job $5, one guys was offered $10 for sex he refused… then they added a thermos! (a f.. thermos!) So he agreed. $10 and a thermos it was.

21.

One time a fellow inmate was stabbed with a prison shank over mashed potatoes, which really made me paranoid. I also saw a guy chew on the fabric of his underwear in an attempt to conceal the fact that he was drinking alcohol he had somehow managed to obtain.

22.

When I was inside I was sent to a prison with an open bay dormitory basically housing units with open bays instead of cells, picture a big ass room with 50 bunks top and bottom meaning 100 guys per bay each housing unit having 4 bays…pretty dangerous living. The guy next to me was an older white guy who had a younger black guy on top bunk…the younger black guy and his buddy cheated the old man outta some canteen by scamming him in cards…white guy found out and that night we all woke up to most terrifying scream I ever heard…the old guy had boiled baby oil with a couple stingers (heating devices for water) poured it all over the younger black guy and when the guy got out of his bunk clocked him in the head with a combination lock in a sock…when the lights came on u could see the skin just melting off the black kids body.

23.

when I caught the bus to go to prison from county, I was the only white guy. when we got there, strip searches ensued. When asked to bend over and spread ’em, we all complied except one very large, buff black man. In the highest pitched voice you could imagine come out of a monster of a man, he said, verbatim: “SAY WHAT? my chick dont even see my assh*le! Why you got to?” funniest sh*t I have ever heard in such a tense awkward moment

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.