dating

23 Fetishes Some People Will Just Never Understand

5.

I used to write erotica for a living, & occasionally I’d get some weird requests. One guy — very softly-spoken, almost embarrassed about the whole thing — asked me to write him a story about him being pounded by a Hot Wheels car. He wanted the first half of the story to be about it going in (front first, obviously; he wasn’t that much of a pervert)… and then the second half to be about the damage the little metal wing mirrors would do to his peen as they came out. I politely declined.

6.

Prolapse / Prolapse parties.

7.

Ballooning. There are people who get off on sticking an air tank hose in their mouths and inflating their stomachs like a gawdam balloon and then drumming on it. What. The. Actual. F*ck. People?

8.

F*ck is up with “ball busting”? I’m ready to lay down and die if I get a light, accidental hit, and there’s porn where chicks are just wailing on these dudes nuts and it looks horrific. Anything pain/humiliation related just goes right over my head.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.