entertainment

The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

5.

Didn’t know my Dad’s family. At the cemetery they’re all off by themselves while we wait for the hearse with the ashes to show up. I walk over and say, “It’s now 1:05. My father is late for his own funeral.” No one said anything. They just moved slowly away.

6.

My aunt died. Her husband has Asperger’s and didn’t really know how to cope with social situations; that was always her job. She chose to be cremated and have her ashes incorporated into a reef ball, so at the funeral I asked my uncle how long the reef ball would be around and after a few conversational rabbit holes we ended up talking about the percentage of my aunt that was in the atmosphere vs. the percentage that ended up in the reef ball (because of the cremation process). My uncle and I didn’t realize this was weird, until my mom tapped me on the shoulder and we realized the entire funeral party was looking on in horror. My uncle is chill though, we still talk. My aunt didn’t have a lot of money and regretted that she couldn’t leave me anything, so after his business started doing better a few years later he bought me my first car in her honor.

7.

Widow:”it’s very important for me that you could make it here” Deceased’s friend:”it’s been a pleasure” Silence.

8.

At my grandpa’s gravsite I heard my aunt talking about the foursome she was planning with another couple. My douchebag uncle went mental, probably the first time I’ve ever agreed with him.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.