23 People Confess Their Greatest Sexual Achievement

5.

My wife & I decided to have sex in a Walmart family restroom. Rather than going in separately & being smart about it, we went in at the same time. There was a lady who worked there who saw us go in. After a couple minutes, the lady started banging on the door. She said if we didn’t come out, she would call the police. I figured we had plenty of time before the cops showed up. I was wrong. The cops came & started banging on the door, but at this point, I was very close. Immediately after going, I realized how screwed we were. Real quick, an idea came to my head & I just looked at her & told her to go along with it. I didn’t have time to explain it. I knelt down in front of the toilet & shoved my fingers far down my throat. I started vomiting hard & as I was doing this, she threw the door open with rage & screamed at the cops “CAN I F*CKING HELP YOU?!”

6.

Jerked of in shrink’s office while he stepped out to take a call. I was 14 or something.

7.

I was FWB with the daughter of the president in my country.

8.

Had a kinky threesome with a polyamorous couple. I was tied to a massage table the entire time. I came so many times that I had to make them stop. I was 18 and had never slept with anyone who was as experienced as they were. It was awesome.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.