23 People Confess The Most NSFW They’ve Experienced In A Professional Setting

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When you think of work, one usually thinks about spreadsheets and meetings and office gossip and making your way through your 10th cup of coffee of the day. We spend a sh*t load of hours, days, weeks, and years of our adult lives at work, so we usually become very close with our coworkers. Or you end up despising every single one of them because they don’t know how to send out a proper f*cking memo. I’m lookin’ at you Barb.

Sure, people may have their work wives and husbands who help get them through the day, but what happens when your work wife becomes more like a lover and someone catches you with your pants around your ankles while you blast away in the office closet? Some really NSFW sh*t, that’s what. Maybe the woman in the cubicle across from you thought it was the right time to show off her new clit ring to the entire office. Or maybe you walked in on the CEO railing lines of coke off of his secretary’s dick. Either way, work can get pretty f*cking lit if you know where to look.

I always thought work was going to be a boring escapade of staring at computer screens and minding my own business. Little did I know that work could be filled with dirty affairs, illicit activities, and a whole lot of office drama that would make even the Kardashians’ puffy mouths drop. I mean, what else are we supposed to talk about at the water cooler on Monday mornings now that Game of Thrones is over? Turns out, the IT guy found a sh*t ton of lactation porn on Bob’s computer. Who said work has to be boring?

These are 23 of the most NSFW things that have ever happened in an unprofessional setting:

1.

I once saw a girl sit down on the floor in one of the cubicles and show everyone her clit ring.

2.

Went into work because monitoring software on a server was sending out alerts. When I got there, a guy was in the break room cleaning a woman’s shoe in the sink. He was super startled when I walked in and began some weird story about the shoe smelling bad and it distracting him so he decided to just grab it and wash it. I was like “uh, well OK then Good Corporate Citizen.” A few weeks later, someone walked in on him masturbating with a woman’s shoe. Apparently, it was normal for female employees to occasionally leave a pair of shoes at the office. This was in Chicago, and you either left shoes there or carried them with you on your commute so that you could wear boots in the slush. At his exit interview, he made a point of saying that he always washed the shoes afterward. As if that somehow made it OK. They let him resign in lieu of calling the cops on him (although I’ve often wondered what the charges would have been. Is this even a crime?) The day he left, a memo went around explaining what had happened and authorizing full compensation for replacement of any shoes that had ever been left overnight.

3.

I had a manager in a call center in 1999 / 2000. She would sometimes have one-on-one meetings with employees in her office. During a meeting with me she was wearing a short dress/skirt, uncrossed her legs in a way where I could see she wasn’t wearing underwear and had a landing strip. I’m pretty sure she noticed that I noticed, but I don’t think she was doing it on purpose.

4.

I worked at a KFC. We had a nasty ex stripper that worked there and a horny manager. She wanted to go home early so they agreed that she could if he got to finger pop her asshole. They did it right behind the chicken warming case. I quit about a week later.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.