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23 People Confess The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened To Their Genitals

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I get it dudes — getting hit in the balls sucks, well, balls. And ladies — I know the pain of pulling out a dry tampon and wincing in despair. I also know that for some people, getting their genitals absolutely wrecked has happened more than once or twice. Just leave it to the World Wide Web to bring people together in all of their broken d*ck and ripped labia glory. #youch

For some unlucky folks, a zipper has gotten a little too close for comfort when yanking the metal up because your dad walked in on you watching porn. For others, it's all about trying to tend to your swollen and itchy vagina after a long night of banging with zero lube. I don't know who allowed that to happen, but people — lube = better for everyone. Oh, and there's also that little thing I like to call child birth. I mean, having to push a watermelon sized parasite from your vagine is some gnarly f*cking sh*t.

So hold your genitals dearly, people — because you never know when you're going to have an accident and find yourself in the hospital gushing blood from the tip of your peen. And please, be mindful of other genitals. There's probably a dude named Jeff walking around with bite marks on his d*ck because a girl went a little too cray with her chompers.

These 23 people's genitals got absolutely F*CKED (and not in the good way):

1.

Masturbated with dawn dish soap and never really washed it off after. Woke up the next day and my dick was molting like an insect. About a week later a hollow soap dick shell came off my penis. Dick was wicked smooth after though.

2.

My first period lasted something like 56 days, I'll spare details and just stay it was full force all the way. One doctor decided I needed to have a pap, I was only about 12. The combination of those two was probably one of the worst things my vagina has been though.

3.

Me and my sister had a classic match of Gladiator on the 7 foot tall fence. She shoved me backwards and i landed directly on my balls, splitting the sack on two sides. Now the scar looks like two railroad tracks and my penis is the train, choo choo!

4.

Pushing out my first child, who was almost 9lbs and had a gigantic head.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.