23 People Have Crazy Quirks That Require A Heads Up Before Sex

Image via PopSugar
Image via PopSugar

Having sex with a new partner for the first time is a hit or miss. It’s either crazy passionate and hot AF, or it’s slightly awkward, because you’re still figuring out how you work together in the sack. But whatever, DOESN’T MATTER, HAD SEX.

But before having sex with someone for the first time, there are some things you may want to warn them about. Are you a major squirter? Is your dong huge? Do you like to pretend your a wolf? If any scenario like those applies, then you may want to be like “yo heads up, I may growl like a wolf and scratch your back till you bleed. Just FYI.”

Yeah.. you would have liked a heads up on that last one, right? Well, that’s how is partner felt. Oh, yeah, that really happened! And the following 23 quirks are just as real, and all require a little explaining pre-coitus. So people, anything that may be considered shocking, definitely needs a big FYI before going to pound town.

These 23 people have quirks that they need to tell their partner about before sex:


1.

She warned me that she was a squirter. S’all good, been with squirters before. This girl was more of a pressure washer than a squirter. Sometimes I’d make her cum so much that we would go through a laundry load of towels, it was ridiculous. I don’t know where the fuck it came from either, she barely drank anything. I don’t know how she didn’t look like a f*cking mummy after squirting so much.

2.

She said she liked to hum during. Eh whatever. Fast forward to her humming “I’ll make a man out of you” from Mulan with my dick in her mouth.

3.

I had this buddy who was a great guy. We had known each other for about a year when I suggested we f*ck. We were fooling around and he got me off a few times and we were about to get to penetration. He was just about to press into me when he stopped and said “just so you know, I’m a screamer.” That phrase turned me off instantly, at the exact moment he entered me. I soldiered on and took one for the team. When he came, he fucking ROARED my first name in a sound that seemed like equal parts agony and rage. It was the least sexy thing ever. I jumped out of my skin every time someone said my name for like 5 days.

4.

She said she ‘loses control’ and I thought she was just wild. No. I should have asked for clarification. Where will you be when diarrhea hits?

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.