23 People Have Crazy Quirks That Require A Heads Up Before Sex

17.

She told me she was “tight” by tight she meant that no matter how much she loosened up she’d shred condoms like they were made out of tissue paper.

18.

My friend’s girlfriend’s older sister came to our college town to visit one weekend. Fast forward to post-bars, she’s riding my fucking brains out in a way I had not experienced before. I mean this girl had a gift. Near the end I’m trying to hold on to my little soldiers, when she whispers, “I hope you’re ready to sleep in a puddle”. I thought to myself, “I wonder wha- ” and boy was she not kidding about the puddle. Cutoff mid-thought to myself, I get drenched. So much that it splashed from my stomach to my face and some on the wall behind my head. Being my first experience, I was pretty shocked, especially with the 2.5 seconds of warning time I received. Dated for about 8 months. Best sex ever. She had a gift, that’s for sure.

19.

Said she was horrible at Blow Jobs… Gave me one of the best blow jobs of my entire life. Said she was amazing at hand jobs… I sat paralyzed with a mixture of pain and terror, as an otherwise lovely woman displayed God like grip strength and the Devil’s disregard for the health of a man’s dick.

20.

Girl I dated was born with an omphalocele. Had no belly button. Just a depression where one should be about 2 inches wide by 4 inches long. She was an ice skater, so flexible in all the right ways and I never really noticed the area that much.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.