We’ve all been there — you’re chatting up your crush in the middle of the hallway, doe-eyed and trying not to look like a serial killer, when you spew the most cringeworthy word vomit that has ever been uttered. “I WANT TO BE ON YOU!”
Your crush recoils in fear/shock/confusion/annoyance as you try to make things better. “I didn’ter mean I want to be on you, I just meant that I want to have your babies in the distant future and then hold hands forever and ever and ever and ever.” You’re not helping yourself in the slightest.
They start backing away slowly. You reach out for them and start yelling that “Veronica will never give you the type of love that I can give you!” Just stop talking for f*ck’s sake. Having a crush is some tough business. You have to figure out the right things to say (i.e. figure out a way to not seem like the freakiest freak that you definitely are), brush against their arms flirtatiously without coming across creepy, and know when to pick up on the known social cues of when to step it on back, b*tch.
These 23 people said the most cringeworthy things to their crushes and it’ll make you squirm with embarrassment:
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.