When you’re single and feeling frisky, you have some different options in how you can alleviate the horniness. You can 1) get on Tinder and let it slowly suck your soul away as you swipe and swipe and swipe while trying to find someone DTF who’s not crazy. You can 2) hit the town, club, bar, etc and try to strike up a conversation with that hottie across the room and hope it leads to genital touching. Or you can 3) lube up your favorite partner in crime — your trusty hand — it knows how you like it, where you like it, and it’s always down to party!
Trying to find someone that will consensually and excitedly have sex with you can be quite the runaround. But what’s it like to have a significant other of a few months, years, or even decades when you want to get it in? Is it as simple as giving them that all-knowing look while grazing your collar bone? Or is all of the romance gone and you merely shrug and ask if they want to stick their penis in you?
It turns out, all of the above. While some couples keep the cat and mouse tactic alive when getting ready to bump uglies, others go the more straight forward route of “babe, lettuce fuck.” Cheers to couples in it for the long haul who still sext and whisper freaky nothings into their lover’s ear because it’s sometimes difficult to keep that sh*t fresh, y’all.
So when you’re horny like no other, and bae is lookin’ fine as hell, try one of these 23 things:
Because it might just get you a resounding “F*CK YES, LET’S F*CK!”